The Royal & The Clueless - Episode 12

On the last episode of The Royal & The Clueless, after Kate dropped off The co-worker a few cubicles over who calls himself Enrique (Or TCWAFCOWCHE for short) at an undisclosed location Kate was caught with a cell phone in her hand whilst sitting in the drivers seat of a car. Kate was brought in for questioning and was grilled by Good Cop and Bad Cop. After being released without any charges being laid, Kate was subsequently kidnapped by a militant group known as Kate-Haters R Us, and taken to an undisclosed location not far from where TCWAFCOWCHE was dropped off. Presently Kate, hands tied behind her back and hooded is led into a sparse room. One of the kidnappers takes the hood off Kate and unties her hands. Kate shakes out her glossy hair and looks around a dingy basement apartment filled with IKEA furniture.

Kate: (Recoiling from the surroundings) Where am I?

Kate-Hater #1: We can't tell you that

Kate: Why am I here? What are you planning to do with me?

Kate-Hater #2: Well..we haven't decided yet..

Kate: You're a disorganized lot aren't you? Don't you think that people are going to miss me? What are people going to discuss on message boards now? Who are they going to Kate-bash? What will Hello! do without me on their cover?

Kate-Hater #1: Good point. I never thought of that. What are we..err..people on message boards supposed to do now?

Kate-Hater #2: There has to be someone else?

Kate-Hater #1: Chelsy?

Kate-Hater #2: I rather like Chelsy

Kate_Hater #1: Me too. Unlike Kate here she isn't waiting around. She's independent.

Kate-Hater #2: So therefore we can't bash Chelsy. Who else is there? Beatrice? Zara? Eugenie?

Kate-Hater #1: They're rather boring. I mean, what has Zara done other than get her tongue pierced?

Kate-Hater #2: Yes, a rather desperate move on her part. So no Chelsy, Beatrice, Zara or Eugenie. Sad state of affairs then.

Kate-Hater #1: Quite.

While the Kate-haters are discussing their options TCWAFCOWCHE quietly creeps into the house hoping to use the phone to call for help.

Kate: (Whispering to Enrique) Oh Enrique! I'm so happy to see you!

Enrique: You are?

Kate: Are you here to rescue me?

Enrique: No, why should I? You dropped me off at an undisclosed location in the middle of nowhere..

Kate: That was in the past. I need your help.

Enrique: (To Marilyn, as she writes this episode) Are you kidding me? You write me out of these episodes, and mysteriously get rid of me.

Marilyn, as she writes this episode: But I did leave your return open. Anyways, Kate needs your help and your presence makes you look like a hero.

Enrique: OK. So what's in it for me?

Marilyn, as she writes this episode: What do you want?

Enrique: Credit, creative consultation and my own office. I don't like the cubicle.

Marilyn, as she writes this episode: Done. Now can we get back to the story line? This episode is getting too long.

Enrique gives Kate a smouldering look. He now wears a white unbuttoned dress shirt that shows off his trim, muscular physique. His hair blows in the wind from an unexplained source. His voice has suddenly become deeper with a Clint Eastwood type tone.

Enrique: (To Kate, seductively) Take my hand and let's go..

Will Enrique actually get his own office?...

Enrique: (To Marilyn as she writes this episode) You'd better.

Marilyn, as she writes this episode: Sorry. Where was I?

Will the two Kate-haters ever notice that she's gone? What will royal watchers do without Kate? Find out on the next episode of The Royal & The Clueless.

© Marilyn Braun 2008